Forgiving is For Me

I could choose not to forgive, but that only holds me hostage to the enemy. Many people who have wronged us don't even feel they need our forgiveness nor do they want it. The action that caused our reaction for most of them is a distant memory if remembered at all. A few months back someone I had been friends with since elementary school betrayed me in the worst possible way. I was angry my reaction was to lash out and though I forgave her, when she came back to me asking to restore the friendship, her words to me was I don't even remember what I did. Now, this made me think, you are telling me you miss our friendship that you betrayed, and asking me if I am over reacting, asking would I forgive you, but at the same time telling me I am not important enough to remember the pain you caused. It may seem to some that well maybe I am over reacting if she can't remember trust me I am not, the thing she did could have destroyed not only my character but my families perception of me and ultimately put a nail in the coffin of my marriage.

You see people don't realize that for every action there is a reaction and for every reaction there is a consequence. My reaction to her action was extreme anger, in fact had she been standing before me because I am saved but still have a little of the street in me, we would have come to blows. However my reaction caused other friends and family members to immediately try and defuse the situation. The consequence was a change in her title and place in my life. Yes, I have calmed down and yes I have forgiven her but, forgiving does not mean that I forgot, more importantly it doesn't mean I want to give this the opportunity to raise it's head again. So because it was so minor to her that she can't remember, I will never forget the humiliation of it, I will never forget the damage that could have been done but most importantly I had to forgive for me because though she asked for my forgiveness it was a reaction to my action. Forgiving her was for me, just as changing her title was for me. There are a lot of things we can do for ourselves and letting go of the clutter of foolishness and unforgiving is just a start. We must loves ourselves enough to rid our emotions and minds of the clutter of bitterness, hatred and we must not let others live in our minds rent free.

Blessed to Be A Blessing,
Shon Garner Cole